these days are dark and weary

The days don't feel like they have a separation anymore; it feels like I'm still sleeping this nightmare and seeing breif moments of waking. I woke up this morning not even feeling like I slept. There was that constant awareness haunting me. I'll pick up the paper, turn on the tv and not even feel like any time has passed since last night. The times of normalcy are fleeting. You'll be walking along, talking to someone and innocently forgetting anything but the subject, and something, even if it's only the awareness of time not thinking about it, something reminding you of Tuesday will hit you and

funny how words have new meanings

Sorry for the mass of lyrics and trickle of words lately. I feel like a lousy journaler, but I've found music to be quite helpful, and my own head so whipped up with emotion that I've a hard time focusing enough to write quality material myself. Little snippets of life shine through in music - reflections of hope bright enough to make you sneeze - music has helped me so much through the greif process. I hope you have something you can do as well, I think we all need some reality of daily life to come near and show us how we and the world have changed. A milepost to show us where we've been and how far we've come.

GOLD AND SILVER

You slipped from my arms, I knew you had to go
Such a heavy heart, who could hope to hold
And I know where you're going, and that's the hardest part
No matter where tonight ends, you won't escape your broken heart

Stay a while

Helpless for the words, and it tightens up the air
It's not what you deserve, it's not for lack of care
Inside of me is screaming out, I'm praying for my prayers
Distracting and unworthy of each and every burning tear

Seems insincere

Do I see God in all of this, maybe all along
It's just that we're so small, and simply not as strong
Strong like wings of silver, and feathers made of gold
To carry heavy hearts, to cover all our helpless souls

To cover all of us

Under wings of Gold and Silver sometimes we have to hide
For shelter from this bitter winter at least tonight
At least tonight

those more talented than I

Seem some of us have been able to focus and try to write out some feelings. Thank you, Sesselja. This is beautiful.