My journal is blue once more

Flags at the Capitol fly at full-staff this morning after President Bush ordered the national mourning period to be ended, nearly two weeks after the attacks on New York and Washington.

"I'm walking in your spiderwebs..."

It's late September, and our house has become Spider Central. Every year this happens, and every year it's more annoying. Almost makes me want the rains to come down and wash the spiders out. Almost.

It's foggy tonight, which is rare, and it's a warm fog (55F), which I've never seen. It's odd how fog reverses the role of light in darkness: the brighter more widspread the light, the greater your blindness.

I really didn't sleep well last night. It's not like I had a hard time sleeping, but that the sleep I got was, for lack of a better term, haunted. My dreams were beautiful until the secrets of their beauty became horrifying. I felt/feel a creeping darkness like old demons parading around the fringes of my un/consciousness. I can't quite pinpoint it. I've tried blaming it on the weather, the school, the stress, the women (wait... what women?); the only one that stuck was repressed grief from two weeks ago. But I've a hard time believing that, considering... considering... ok, maybe I just don't want to believe that, because it seems weak and ridiculous. But the truth is, I've never had to deal with psychological impact on such a scale so I can't say what behaviors might be indicative of suppressed darkness.
For now I cling to what's good and happy. It feels like all I can do.