Has he surprised you lately?

So far I have utterly failed at all the personal improvement goals I set for this month. I'm still staying up past 2, sleeping too late, eating irregularly, and I'm getting headaches and stress as a result.
I could blame my friends for doing stupid things like watching the 4-hour ROTK cut... starting at midnight. (SKULLS, PAUL!!) I could blame myself for thinking I have more to accomplish and staying up late to try and finish it. I could blame myself.
I don't like who I'm being out here. I feel not myself, burdened, weary. Little I do seems worth my time. Time, which I suddenly have plenty of, does not seem to be treating me well. Or maybe I'm spending it badly. See above.
Perhaps the sudden lack of distraction has allowed all the undercover stress to bubble to the surface. I seem to have a lot on my mind, and little to ease it.
Another friend is to be married in two days. IN PUYALLUP. God, why couldn't he just have had it up here? Is it hard? Practically the entire wedding party lives north of Seattle, and we all get to wrestle the area's worst traffic TWO DAYS IN A ROW for this stupid thing. It has soured the entire experience for me already. I should be happy for him, honored to be a groomsman, now it feels like going to the dentist.
I need to pick up my tux tonight. Don't let me procrastinate. On my current schedule 9pm feels like early evening, so I get really confused when I have to do things before 5.

Here's a little quiz you can fill out if you're interested:
What are the rules you have about following God?
Living like a christian?
What if God told you they were all wrong and you should start over?
Where would you look for new rules?
What are the rules He follows? Are there any?
What's in your pockets right now and why?

Everyone I've seen down here lately has been awesome. I wish I felt more awesome right now, but I'm glad people around me are. Nobody in public school has anything on this.

I recently realized that my biggest fear is compromise.

We don't have to water the tree this year. It just stands, perpetually nylon and green, perfect until you notice that the branches are steel at the core. Unlike a real tree, after you dismantle it the pieces still make a tree. This is because it was never alive to begin with.

I'm done christmas shopping. This is a somewhat artificial finish, as I realized I needed to stop. I must say I have surprised even myself with my ability to continue finding interesting things to buy for people this year. I don't know what changed.

I can't decide whether this feeling in my head is allergies or a cold. Whatever it is, it needs to be gone by Sunday so I can sing. This always seems to happen when I come home. Must be something in the air, or unfamiliar germs. Maybe my body is more comfortable being away.

There are no outstanding computer problems for me to fix over break. I've taken to finding other people's broken systems and offering. Unsure what this says about me. Perhaps only that I am a nerd. This should not surprise me or anyone. What is surprising is how much I rely on it... without my nerdery I have surprisingly little.

This entry has quickly devolved, much like my disposition. I have to leave.